A Brotherhood Christmas
by DeathCard
Summary: It's stupid, it's probably uneccesary, but I couldn't help myself.


"Twas the night before Christmas and all through our humble abode, not a creature was stirring, not even that vile despicable Toad."

"HEY!"

Pietro looked up at Todd from Lance's favorite armchair. "Shut up! I'm reading a story."

"Pietro get off your ass and help with the tree!" Lance called out from his place behind the large pine that he and Freddy had carried in and set into the corner of the living room, using the roots that were still attached to it as a base.

With an annoyed sigh the speed demon was over to the tree before his book ever hit the chair cushion. Instantly lights seemed to just appear strung up on the tree before he began snatching up decorations from the couple of shoe boxes that sat near them. And as Freddy left to the kitchen Pietro leaned over to Lance, "Just why are we doing this again?" He whispered.

Lance snatched a decoration from his friend's hand and hung it on the tree. "Simple. Freddy. He ain't like the rest of us, he gets into this kinda stuff and we don't celebrate other holidays. Thanksgiving? Remember the last time we tried that?"

"Oh do I…" Pietro grumbled. "I was chained to a chair, John burnt the turkey thinking more flame power would make it cook better, Todd kept grabbing food with his tongue, and when he passed Wanda the stuffing with it she freaked and all hell let loose. Todd ended up welded to the ceiling fan, John ended up with the turkey stuck on his head. I somehow ended up in the tree in the backyard. Fred ended up sitting in the rubble that was his chair, and you, you ended up through a wall."

Lanced nodded as he placed another ornament on the tree. "And do you remember the last Halloween we tried to celebrate?"

"Yes… Fred went trick or treating, got screamed at and ended up back here nearly in tears, and to ruin his night more no kids would come near the house, they would just hurry passed. So Todd had the idea of taking the candy to them, but he was too lazy to go out there, I didn't care enough to, John was out and I honestly don't wanna know what he was doing, you and Wanda were locked up in your rooms refusing to come out in the costumes Fred asked you two to wear, and Fred was in no condition to deal with little kids so instead Todd started spitting candy out at the kids like it was his slime."

Lance sighed at the memory. "Yeah, we had at least a dozen angry parents gathered in the middle of the street, for a minute there I honestly thought they were going to form an angry mob and storm the house."

"Well Todd did give more then one kid a concussion." Pietro stated matter of factly as he hung a stocking on the fireplace.

"Good point." Finally the tree was decorated and the stockings were hung and he and the speed demon took at step back to admire their work.

-That Night-

There was noise from the roof that thoroughly annoyed the stirring fault line of a man but he ignored it as best he could as he assumed it was just the Toad. But then there was another loud clunk, this time from living room and Lance shot up in his bed. "I'll kill him…" He grumbled to himself as he climbed out of the bed, revealing only a pair of silky white boxers and his famed fingerless gloves. He stomped out of the room and downstairs.

As Lance made his way into the living room he glared at the fat man in the red suit. "Who are you?"

"Why I'm Santa of course!" The man chuckled as he slung his red sack from over his shoulder and onto the floor.

"Riiiight. Well Santa, you smell like booze."

"That would be your couch, Lance."

Lance looked from the supposed Santa to the Brotherhood couch and back again. "That is not… Neccesarilly…. Okay that's actually a pretty good possibility! But I don't have to acknowledge it!" With that he sent a tremor through the ground."

"Ho ho ho! There's no need for that, Lance!" The fat man reached into his red coat and pulled out a handful of jelly beans that he threw at Lance, ending in an explosion that sent the mulleted mutant diving into the kitchen.

"What's goin' on down there yo!?" Todd called as he came bounding down the stairs in just a pair of underwear and a tank top. "What the? Ah! Theif!" With that he reeled back, spat slime at the supposed Santa and launched himself at him.

A massive tremor shook the household as Lance got to his feet and rushed the fat man. As Pietro materialized at the bottom of the stairs with a bed sheet tied around his waist he took in the sight of the Toad clinging to Santa's back and Lance struggling to retch the giant candy cane the man was using as a knight stick from his hands. The fleet footed mutant quickly joined the fray, clinging to the fat man's leg like a child trying to force its father to not leave.

Pyro was the next to come down the stairs to see what all the commotion was, a hand towel tied around his waist like a miniskirt. He was about to join the fight but the three boys and the Santa simulatniously yelled "NO!" Followed by Lance's angry voice yelling, "Put on some pants!"

With that a depressed John sulked his way up the stairs wile Wanda and Freddy made their way downstairs. Fred adorned a pair of oversized child-like pajamas, a teddy bear clutched in his hand. Wanda was in a pair of purple pajama bottoms and a bath robe tied tightly around her, from what could be seen that was it anyway.

At their appearance the fight halted as if someone hit the pause button on a video as they looked at Freddy. "Um… Why are fighting Santa?"

"I ain't Santa!" Todd screamed as the battle resumed.

Suddenly John burst down the stairs in a pair of red boxers and dived head first into the fight.

-Several Minutes Later-

Lance, Todd, Pietro, and John, sat squished together on the couch, glaring at the supposed Santa. Lance sported a bump and a bruise on his cheek from the candy cane and his hair was scorched slightly from the earlier explosion. Todd's nose was bleeding from when he was thrown into a wall. Pietro's hair was mussed and his sheet was torn slightly but that was it. And John had a black eye and a split lip.

Santa had a black eye of his own and slime in his beard and his eyebrows were burnt off.

Fred and Wanda stood between the man and the boys, making sure the fight didn't resume.

As the so called Santa was allowed to get up he moved to the fireplace and was suddenly sucked up it. Everyone stood or sat in awe before whipping around and staring out the window to see a sleigh flying off into the night being led by eight deer.

"Holy shit it really was Santa!" Pietro called out in shock.

"And we got to see him!" Freddy joined in excitedly.

"And we kicked his ass!" Todd added happily with a grin.


End file.
